Off to a slow but focused start for 2025

Vale Christopher Donaldson

https://chrisdonaldson.com.au/about-chris-page

Warning....This post is a little contemplative.

I lost my very dear brother Chris on the 29th October 2024. It was a huge shock and the news came out of the blue when he seemed so full of life and plans for our next exhibition that we were planning for 2026. Chris and his wife, Anne, were planning to travel and continue their very active social life into the years ahead. It all seemed so wrong for him to be diagnosed with terminal cancer in August and for him to have left our lives by the end of October.

Photo above- Chris and Sadhana (Celia at the time) around about 1975.

Chris and I have always been so close. For the past 20 years we would always have a chat on the phone each week timing it for our mid morning coffee, we referred to it as "Our Coffee Chat". We would discuss what we were working on and why we were working on it. We would support the conversation by txting images of our works. We would chew the fat over national and world politics and update each other on family life and drama.

We would laugh and cry together.

All four us (Karin, Mike, Chris and I) have become close as siblings since we started exhibiting together in 1995. However Chris and I had a particular bond as he was still living at home when I was growing up and although he was 13 years older than me he spent time with me, taught me to cook, listen to music and make jokes.

Before Chris became ill we had been tag team caring for our sister Karin in Wilcannia throughout the start of 2024. She was preparing and then recovering from a hip replacement. Once Chris returned home things all fell apart and he became very sick quickly. We all gathered to his side and had some very precious time together as we cried and reminisced. My brother, Mike, came over from Perth and Karin made the trek by public transport with her new hip. Anne was amazing in her care for Chris, not surprising as she has always been so wonderful at making their life, family and home such a welcoming experience. She looked after Chris with love and devotion over the short time he had remaining. My heart aches for her.

Chris was a shining beacon. A friend and inspiration to so many. Passionate poet/musician/photographer. Chris managed to complete so many important elements in his life in those last 2 months. He had deeply meaningful visits to most of his friends and family making sure he told them how much he valued them in his life. He completed his composition of variations on Happy Birthday in the style of more than 40 composers and the score of 32 of them was printed and acknowledged by many people that he held in high regard. He managed to recompose several of these into an orchestral work and was then able (with some difficulty and pain) to attend its performance by the Southern Highlands Orchestra in Bowral with a number of family members playing.

Photo- Chris at the concert with his eldest grand daughter Anna

My husband Michael, my daughter Mara, her partner Lem and I had been planning to do an O/S trip to the UK in October 2024 and everything had been booked. Michael and I had never done any overseas travel and Chris was determined that we must still do our trip. Chris and Anne were seasoned travellers and had seen so many wonderful places together over the years and so he had always been keen for me to see the world too. The thought of being on the other side of the world at this precious time was very difficult for me. To be so far away while he was struggling with pain and sadness I found heart breaking. But Chris was adamant and Anne said it was important for us to go ahead with our planned trip as it would sadden Chris even more to think of his illness having prevented this trip.....So with heavy but grateful hearts we went.

We did Face Time chats almost every day and I sent him photos of all the places we were seeing and I photoshopped him into all of them. At least I could try and put a smile on his face from a distance.

I borrowed his big suitcase and I put him in/on it so he could come for the ride.

The view from the plane brought tears to my eyes as we flew over the Middle East and the patterns on the earth reminded me of veins and I reflected on the similarity of patterns in life on earth....roots, veins, rivers; all aspects that bring life into our world.

Meanwhile Chris was working on his "Top 100 Photos" book.... gathering poems and thinking about the photos that he loved most. He managed to compile this with the help of his daughter Amy and her partner Nic. It gave him great joy to be creative even when bed bound.

He handled his pain and sadness with such dignity. The palliative care team installed a bed in their sun room where he could look out at the garden and the birds. Visitors came all day every day which he enjoyed so much.

Once we arrived in London I was on a mission to make the very best of this extraordinary situation. On the one hand it was amazing and exciting to be in another part of the world, but it was also heartbreaking to be so far away from Chris.

One of our first visits was to the TATE.

Henry Moore, Family Group 1949 cast 1950-1

I was delighted to see the Henry Moore sculptures at the TATE Britain and I will certainly be drawing on their inspiration over this year. I am looking forward to filling my wood kiln with lots of sculpture.

Everything I saw, I looked at with Chris in mind and so begun my UK trip with Chris and family.

Photo collage by Sadhana with Henry Moore's King and Queen at the Tate Brittain

Henry Moore, Reclining figure 1951

Photo- Henry Moore, Working model for Unesco Reclining Figure 195 , cast c.1959-61

Michael, Mara and I took the train to Maze Hill Pottery, Lisa Hammond’s studio space. It was a delight to meet Lisa and her apprentices, Matty and Lucas.

https://www.lisahammond-pottery.co.uk

We bought some beautiful work which then had to carry across the UK with us! .....and YES we did get it all home safely!

Lisa Hammond teapot and cups

Lisa Hammond baker and apprentice made mugs and pourer

It was so inspiring to see how much Lisa achieves at Maze Hill Studio which is a modest space with magnificent productivity.

On reflection, as we hopped on the train (which is literally a few steps away from the studio) after leaving the pottery, I found myself thinking how easy it is to fall into the trap of thinking we need more than we have and apologising for the simplicity of our studios, how easy it is to think we need a bigger space, newer equipment , more time, more help...but really why not just enjoy what we have and get on with it?

Thank you Lisa Hammond and crew you were a wonderful inspiration.

Photo -Between the kilns and the railway. My husband Michael, Matty Lewandowski, Mara.

Photo- Maze Hill Pottery.

We saw lots of art - ceramics, painting and sculpture and lots of great places as with mooched through England, Cornwall and Scotland.

Every evening I would send Chris photos of the day.

Photo collage- featuring Edgar Degas Ballet Dancers 1800-1900

Photo collage -Sitting by the the Thames on the South Bank

On "The Tube"

Photo collage - St.Ives, Cornwall

Photo Collage- Tower of London

Photo- Barbara Hepworth Gallery and Garden, St. Ives Cornwall.

Photo- Barbara Hepworth Gallery and Garden, St. Ives Cornwall.

Barbara Hepworth's gallery and garden

The Leech Studio and Gallery, in St.Ives.

Wood fire kiln at Leech Gallery.

In London we saw 'A Comedy of Errors ' at the Globe Theatre. Such a dream for me as a Theatre graduate.

6 Photo collages below-

and always Chris was in our minds and at our side ...at the theatre, at the markets, out to dine and visiting castles.

Photo collage - The Great Hall at Stirling Castle

Stirling Castle was first mentioned around 1110, and many royal dramas unfolded here. Until the Union of the Crowns in 1603, almost every Scottish monarch had either lived in the castle, or been crowned or died here

.......even Bonnie Prince Chris and Queen Anne!

While we were on the Isle of Skye Chris started to get worse.

He was doing his best to hang in there until we got back. But he became unable to look at my silly photos and our phone calls were getting further apart and shorter and he was sleeping more and more.

Photo - Isle of Skye ,Scotland

Photo - Isle of Skye ,Scotland

Photo Isle of Skye, Scotland. Our little croft cottage

After a spectacular few days on the Isle of Skye we readied ourselves for the trip back home to Oz. It was now feeling time to be home with Chris, his words were becoming more difficult and his conversation with me was focused on "when would we be home?" As we pulled into London on the train from Scotland a rainbow appeared and I wept wishing that I could jump on a Tardis and be home in seconds. We would still be 2 days from being by his side.

While we were on the plane Chris became unresponsive to any touch or sound from Anne and his family. I was preparing for being too late for that last hug and conversation.

My brother in-law, Jono, picked me up from the airport at about 10pm and we arrived at Chris's side around 11:30 pm. He was still alive.....but only just.....not able to respond ...but still here and I could hold his hand and stroke his hair. I hugged him and told him I loved him and I loved the way he raised his eyebrows when we talked...and then...he raised his eye brows!

It felt like he waited for me. His daughter Amy said "look at that! That was definitely a response."

I might have thought I was imagining it if she hadn't seen it too.

He died at 9:30am the following morning.

Photo- Those hands had finished the piano playing, finished writing scores and poetry, finished capturing wonderful photographs, and finished giving warm loving hugs. But his memory and his life have given so much of all of those things to so many. Now it is time to cherish the gift of having known him and carry it with us into the future.

I will always feel his love and care in my life, he gave me so much strength.

We had 500+ colourfully clad people at his “Fun-eral” (he didn't want a funeral). 500 people were watching on line simultaneously. Anne and family did an amazing send off for him. Music, food and words. A perfect celebration of his life. He was a treasured man.

So now here we are in 2025 and it will be the first year in my 64 years that I have not had Chris to talk to about this crazy old world. I have to put my big girl pants on and stride out doing the best I can without my littlest big brother. I will be taking much of the inspiration that our trip gave us and running with it in the studio. I have sculptures in mind and domestic ware to produce.

But 2024 has made me relook at how I approach my life. We are here for such a short and unknown time. Priorities are important so my plan is to take things very slowly and to approach my work in a contemplative frame of mind. This year I will only be making what I am happy to make and I will make with no ambition other to enjoy my making time. I may have an open studio later in the year and I may put work into some shops or galleries but at this stage I have no commitments. At the moment I am making a maximum of 10 pots a day with care and focus. I am allowing my body to do different things over the day, a bit of clay recycling and wedging, a bit of washing and studio cleaning, some wood preparation for the kiln and kiln shelf grinding and cutting. My aim is to not overdo anything and to avoid getting into a big studio mess. I want to feel on top of my practice by doing short bursts of different activities regularly. Gardening and family time is top of my list too. Life is precious. Family and friends are precious. So I will be regarding all these things that I love with a full heart and inspired by my wonderful brother who I have been so blessed to have in my life.